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Chronicles of a New Mum: You’re Not Alone

Chronicles of a New Mum: You’re Not Alone

Comments of support, encouragement, and lots of commiserating filled the feed. As I scrolled through, I found myself tearing up a bit due to the kindness of total strangers who were compelled to help a new mum that was struggling… and not afraid to be honest about it.

“It will get better! I remember those days… and I always felt like I looked like crap.”

“Shower, get dolled up, and go out to lunch, even if it is by yourself. That’s what family, spouses, and friends are for.”

“That’s so normal! But you must make time for yourself… and your hubby. It can’t be about the baby 24/7. You have to love yourself too.”

“It’s hard no matter how prepared you are.”

“I have been where you are. You’re not alone.”

One woman who manages a salon offered her a complimentary blowout to lift her spirits. (Beautiful hair—no matter how much you hate that you’re still wearing pants with an elastic waist band—makes everything better.) And a guy that chimed in (not sure how he ended up in a mum’s group, but he’s a welcome addition) with this comment:

“Try talking to your husband, ask him for help and let him know what's happening in your heart and head. No husband wants to see their wife, mother of their child, be down...about anything. The best part is, men want to feel needed. I don't know your situation and certainly the dynamic of your relationship, but as these women have said... You are important, you deserve you-time. You're not just a wife and a mum.”

This amazing string of advice and reassurance proves that mums don’t have to go it alone, or fear that asking for help, or venting about your true feelings makes you look like you can’t handle it. Most of the time, social media provides a warped view of life with a baby. All we see are the storybook moments—the kind that make everything look fun, easy, and so picture-perfect. Those photos don’t show that your baby cried at the top of her lungs when you were grocery shopping and you just wanted to stress-eat a huge chocolate bar, leave the groceries, and book it out of there. They don’t show that your kitchen is a mess and the high chair is covered in sweet potato puree. They don’t show you… because you’re not going in front of a camera until you lose those last ten pounds.

It’s really hard when your body doesn’t look like it used to, and nothing fits quite right. And you’re utterly exhausted from giving everything you’ve got to another person. But the best way to perk yourself up when don’t feel like the old you— just turn to other mums who’ve been in your shoes and can promise that the new you is amazing—and you’re not alone.