With Mother’s Day just around the corner Mums everywhere are beginning to drop hints to their other half so as they remember to book somewhere for lunch, or get them a gift, or remember a card from the kids. It is our one day of the year that we are recognised and thanked for the job that we do all year round, that sees you on your feet most of the time, with no breaks, multitasking and working extra-long hours, but with no pay whatsoever. It’s a pretty tough job, but incredibly rewarding too (you get paid in a million kisses and cuddles which money can’t buy really!) A day where Mummies are celebrated and made to feel special, appreciated and so loved.
However, having lost my Mother 7 years ago, 3 years before my first child was born, my celebrations are always bitter sweet on this day. My Mum was not around to meet my children. It took me having my own children to truly realise the lengths and breadths that mothers go to for their children. The strength of their love for us, and the self-sacrificing they make from the day we enter this world. It breaks me that this knowledge came to me after losing my Mum. It’s not that I didn’t appreciate her when she was alive, as I absolutely did. She was my hero, role model, best friend and confidante and we were extremely close and connected. But I have never felt more connected to her than when I too became a mother and yet she is not here physically for me to express this to her.
And so, I am tinged with sadness as I see the cards pop up in every store with words of love I so wish I could tell my Mum still. I think of those like me that lost their Mums, or are struggling to become Mums, or have tragically lost children who should be wishing them Happy Mother’s Day. My heart breaks for every single one of them as I know that this day is a reminder of a sadness they hold sealed in their hearts.
Yet now I have two sets of grubby little hands that hold me and tell me they love me. That make me cards with scrawls of messages that I can’t decipher but say more to me than anything I could choose to read. And my heart bursts with love and happiness and gratefulness that I get to be their Mummy. And yes, they can’t yet appreciate all that I may do, how my back feels like it might break some days, how I perpetually question all that I am doing and whether it is the best by them. But their pure love and excitement about celebrating me for me makes this day so worthwhile.
And so, I will drop the hints and love this day for what it is. A day to recognise that I am a Mother and I wouldn’t have it any other way. And to think of my mother who is my inspiration every day of my life and will be until the day we meet again.
So, to the hints…
1) I find a trip to the theatre is always a real treat especially since becoming a parent. Nothing says a night off than a trip to town and feeling the buzz of Theatreland. I’m desperate to see Motown The Musical after seeing Thriller at Christmas time. I’ve heard it’s fantastic!
2) I have my eye on Mum Days - a clever new company that provides wonderful gifts and experiences for Mums who are in dire need of a bit of time off and a pamper. Nothing says I love you like giving a Mummy some time to herself. www.mumdays.co.uk
3) Surely the Elvie is the gift that just keeps on giving? Not only does it strengthen your pelvic floor, giving you better core stability and control, but also better sex, so the hubby gets to benefit too. Who wouldn’t want to buy their wife and mother of their children this gift?
4) Finally, I’ve fallen in love with the super soft and super charitable jumpers by The Selfish Mother and available at TheFMLYStore.com My son has recently started to call me Mama after years of Mummy, so my pick right now would be the Mama jumper. Because what better after a long day with the kids than to snuggle up with a large glass of wine and a reminder of just how super you are and how much you mean to somebody so small emblazoned on your chest.
Happy Mother’s Day to all you Mama’s doing your thing! Hope you are spoilt rotten.