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S**t Mums Say

S**t Mums Say


  • “Let me make you a tuna sandwich.”
  • “You look tired. Are you tired?”
  • “Have you seen what’s trendy on twitter?”
  • “Are you really wearing that”
  • “Did you see that article about women freezing their eggs?”
  • “Look at this picture of your stepbrother’s baby!”
  • “You need a decent jacket. Just buy it and put it on my card.”
  • “Darling have you been doing your kegels? Trust me, you’ll regret it if you don’t start now!”
  • “Because I said so”.
  • “You sound really tired – are you hungover?”

  • “Mother knows best”
  • “Have you gained [lost] weight?”
  • “What’s that on your face?”
  • “Why haven't you added me on The Facebook”
  • “Please just meet someone and have a baby”
  • "You always looks better when you're carrying a bit of weight"
  • “Do you like LOUIE? I think it’s too depressing.”



  • “What’s that shirt you’re wearing? It’s... funny.”
  • “I still picture your hair... lighter.”
  • “Cross your legs when you sneeze, you’ll thank me”
  • “Have you called Dr. Hertz about that mole yet?”
  • “Do you really need another glass of wine”
  • “I’m trying this new ‘rebounding’ class where you exercise on mini trampolines. I don’t know how anyone does it without peeing themselves!”
  • “You can do whatever you want and I’ll be happy for you. Just make sure that you can support yourself.”
  • “Get him young, train him up… then you have someone to push your wheelchair in your old age”
  • “You’ve been going to a lot of weddings lately… I’d like an invite to one soon!”
  • "Are you sure you don't want that tuna sandwich?"


At least she was right about the kegels… Happy Mother’s Day to the wonderful women who brought us into the world.

Let us know what your mums say! Tweet, instagram or post on Facebook your one liner with the hashtag #SqueezeSquad.