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Something New: Having 'the Talk'

Something New: Having 'the Talk'

“I had a pretty conservative upbringing so I used to find it deeply embarrassing to talk about sex. I blush and start to squirm and change the subject. A few years ago my partner came up with a compromise- when he wanted to talk about sex, I hid under the duvet. The conversations were muffled, but at least they happened! I’m much better at it now- it only took four years. Sometimes I can even make eye contact!”

Ella, 32, sales manager, New York

“My friend (I promise it happened to a friend) wanted to tell her husband that she was ready to try new things in the bedroom. So after sex, she had a long conversation with him about how you can’t eat pasta for dinner every night and even though tagliatelle was her favourite food, sometimes she just felt like dim sum, you know? He nodded along and totally agreed and she felt pretty pleased with herself for being so diplomatic. Wife goal achieved. The next night, she came home and he had bought dim sum for dinner.”

Charlotte, 27, trainee solicitor, London

“After our first baby was born, we had the usual several months of new baby haze. My partner and I had a very grown-up conversation about getting to know each other in the bedroom again and planned a date night. My in-laws looked after our little girl, he had bought some really nice red wine and I even invested in some new underwear. Unfortunately, some medication I was taking reacted with the wine and I spent my date night sat in A&E with an itchy swollen face, wearing my sexy bra underneath a tracksuit. So much for forward planning.”

Nicky, 37, homemaker, Surrey

“I was pretty insistent about having ‘the talk’ with an ex-boyfriend of mine. I read lots of books about how we all needed to be more emotionally and sexually honest. I said we were young and that we needed to be more spontaneous and unconventional. He looked worried (he was probably thinking I was already a bit too spontaneous and unconventional.) A few nights later, I walked into my bedroom and he jumped out from behind the door, entirely naked. It took him about three quarters of an hour to calm me down from complete hysterics. There was no sex that night.”

Saira, 25, teacher, Montreal,

*Some names have been changed