#FeelBeautiful Sexual Self Confidence
It's safe to say we all have moments when we feel less than confident. When it comes to sex, having these hang-ups about our bodies can cause undeserved stress and worry - which doesn't exactly help us feel 'in the mood'. Thankfully, Psychosexual therapist and long-term Elvie friend Kate Moyle has come to our rescue to with her expert advice on how to get rid of that insecurity.
Based in London, Kate works with both couples and individuals to get them to a place of authentic sexuality where they are able to discover what a healthy sex life looks like for them. No judgement and no expectations; two things that we think everyone deserves!
Advice from the expert
Body confidence doesn’t have to be just what you can see on the outside, but also what happens on the inside. There are plenty of blogs about healthy eating and fitness but the pelvic floor often gets neglected. As well as having other benefits, pelvic floor exercises can impact your sex life and are often used by psychosexual therapists throughout therapy to help people get more in control of their sex lives and their bodies.
The opening to the vagina passes through the hammock of the pelvic floor muscles, meaning that they play a key role in sex. Your Pelvic Floor Exercises can benefit in numerous ways:
Getting to know your body better
Elvie offers an advanced version of biofeedback, helping you to get to know your and understand your body better. This can be especially helpful during sex and the sexual arousal process when the muscles are contracting and relaxing. The vagina is an amazing and elastic organ which is designed to withstand the size of a baby. When a woman is aroused the vagina goes through a process called ‘tenting’ in which muscular tension draws the uterus upwards in order to create more space for penetration.
Every woman will have an individual experience with their body. The beauty of biofeedback is that the more you get to know yourself personally, the more you can better discover what works for you when it comes to sexual pleasure and experience.
Get more in control
Working on your kegels, although it sounds obvious gives you more control over them. Learning to relax as well as contract muscles is as important during exercises. The ability to relax muscles is key for comfortable vaginal penetration. If the muscles feel inflexible or stiff, it can create soreness or pain on penetration. Involuntary muscles movement can be very distressing, and in the same way that you work muscles elsewhere in your body by going to the gym or exercising, doing kegels exercises can tone and strengthen the pelvic floor.
During orgasm there are muscular contractions which cause waves of pleasure throughout the body. The more toned the pelvic floor muscles are, the better they are able to contract during orgasm, deepening the stimulating experience.
When the pelvic floor muscles are stronger the orgasms feel stronger and more intense. More and better orgasms means more Oxytocin, the hormone that is released during orgasm promotes bonding and closeness, hence it’s nickname ‘the cuddle hormone’. Aside from creating different sensations of friction during sex which can be pleasurable for both you and your partner, kegel exercises also increase blood flow to the vaginal area which helps with lubrication.
Your sexual self confidence is impacted by how calm and confident that you feel, and the last thing you want to be worried about is leaking urine during sex. Pelvic floor control will make you feel more confident and allow you to focus on enjoying sex rather than worrying. Feeling turned on is as much in the mind as it is in the body, so being able to keep that mind space free of anxiety and full of desire is central to being able to enjoy yourself.
Make sure to tweet Kate to thank her for her lovely words of wisdom, and let her know what helps make you #feelbeautiful.