Written by Etienne Broomfield Published on 17th February 2022 Updated on 23rd May 2022

So, we’ve had the day of love. Netflix & Chill, roses, and chocs— but did you ever stop to think that amid the frivolity, Valentine’s Day actually peddles outdated gender stereotypes and prioritizes heteronormative relationships? What about people who aren’t in relationships? What about the fact that not all relationships are between a man and a woman? 

You know the song—

? Looooove is a many-splendored, multi-gendered thing. ?

Okay, it doesn’t quite go like that. But, you catch our drift. 

And don’t even get us started on the pressure for women to shimmy into lace thongs that feel like they’re slowly sawing you in half— oh, and the weight of sexual expectation crippling the day. Problematic AF if you ask us. Gifts don’t equal consent, people. Just because you booked the restaurant and bought a Victoria’s Secret bra does not entitle you to sex. Let’s also not forget that despite this, Valentine’s Day is cunningly marketed as a ‘day for women.’. Yup, hold our earrings. ‘Cause, we can’t even.  

So, you can probably sense that we’re not huge fans of the old V-Day here at Elvie. (Although, it’s totally fine if it’s the reason you live and breathe.) However, there is a V- Day we can really get on board with—

Vagentine’s Day. 

Yup, you read that right. We propose a new day where we take time to appreciate and celebrate the marvel that is our vajayjays. 

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes.

Because that’s the OG relationship, right? The intimate connection to you that no one else can rival. Your soulmate. To have and hold, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish. Your literal other half: Your vagina. 

So, we’re here today to tell you how you can show ‘down there’ some love this Vagentine’s Day.

You are what you eat

Now, we’re absolutely not here to tell you to stop eating foods that make you happy, but rather to be mindful that food can affect your coochie chemistry. For example, fruits, veg, and Greek yogurt can help keep a healthy pH, and conversely, too much sugar can increase your chances of landing a yeast infection. So, you might want to go easy on the candy unless you want to be stocking up on Canesten.*  

Get personal

Get right up in your business. Take a handheld mirror, or park yourself in front of your full-length, and take a gooooood look. Don’t be coy about your kitty. Know what’s ‘normal’ for you down there, so you can be sure to identify when some f*ckery is afoot.

Kegels, Kegels, Kegels

We make it clear at the door that we’re very passionate about pelvic floor health here at Elvie— because it’s so damn important. It has such a knock-on effect through different aspects of your life, so keeping it fit and in fighting form should be a priority. 

However, because vaginas are taboo (boo), it’s something that isn’t talked about nearly enough. Regular pelvic floor training can improve your intimate wellbeing, bladder control, and prevent conditions such as prolapse— and it need only take up to five minutes of your day. Elvie Trainer is a super easy, interactive way to ensure you’re doing your Kegels correctly— oh, and it’s fun too. So, let’s hear it: 1, 2, 3, 4, let’s strengthen our pelvic floors!

Masturbate, obviously

Yes, yes, YES. Get intimate with your one true. Set some time aside, maybe consider bringing along some toys, some lube, a visual/literary aid, and show your vagina and vulva some love. Masturbation can relieve stress, pain (byeee paracetamol), help you sleep, and it’s great for your overall vaginal health. So, it’s not a case of self-indulgence but rather a pubic health initiative. Hey, we don’t make these glorious rules. ?

In conclusion: we're amazing 

The clitoris has more nerve endings than anywhere else in the body. Your cervical mucus literally tells you when you're fertile. Your vagina ‘tents’ when you’re aroused (which is why when you insert a tampon it feels quite shallow— yet you can *ahem* accommodate much larger when in the mood). 

We’re blessed with these incredible genitals, yet most of us pay ours no mind. 

Well, it’s time to change that. 

Let’s sing our praises from the rooftops, and let’s get creative. We challenge you to write a poem for your p*ssy, an ode to your ‘down low,’ draw her like one of your French girls— have fun with it. Because our vaginas are undervalued and underappreciated, just like us gals. So, how can we hope to overthrow the patriarchy if we can’t love our own punanis?

Dearest Vagentine—

When I say ‘I love you,' 

It’s because it’s true. 

My p*ssy power, my petaled flower, 

There ain’t no vag like you. 

So swap the chocs, roses, and rocks

For time just you and me.

So glad you’re mine, my Vagentine, 

My incredible punani.

Make sure to tag us in your posts and use the hashtag #BeMyVagentine.

The medical information in this article is provided as an information resource only and is not to be used or relied on for any diagnostic or treatment purposes. Please consult your doctor for guidance about a specific medical condition.